Saturday, November 23, 2013

Happy Birthday BJ!

Happy birthday. I love you.
I love your appreciation for the world around you. I love the excitement and the wonder I see in your eyes when you are studying someone else's sculpture or creating your own. You inspire me, and I love that about you.
These we did together. Can you tell which one is mine?

This is the sculpture he is working on currently.

This one remains unfinished. The message he wanted to portray with it has changed over the years, and he doesn't quite know what he wants to do with it next.

He understands the work it takes to create something like this, and admires every detail.
I love your compassion. For me. For your kids and grandkids. For strangers. For your family. For my family. For animals. I love that you try to understand and have empathy for everyone.

We took his grandkids hiking this summer. I love watching him them.

Classic BJ and Grandson J moment. BJ is teaching him multiplication and division. I was just super excited I had the camera out and could catch it.
I love your sense of humor. Mostly, I love that you find humor in the same things I do... and you think I'm funny and clever, even when most people think I'm weird.You laugh with me, and I love that about you.

I love your appreciation for learning. I love that you read and study and learn as much as you can about everything. I love that you let me teach you about how an orchestra works, and that you have been to rehearsals and seen how they work. I love the conversations we have about science, philosophy, religion, politics, money, business, and everything else. I learn a lot from you, and I love that about you.

I love your appreciation for nature. You seem joyful when you are fishing or riding horses. You can stop and look at every flower, plant, bug, or animal track with me. You get excited about all of the new places you can go and all of the new things you can see. Your joy makes me feel joyful, and I love that about you.

I love that you don't make fun of me for being me. You've never criticized the way I dress, the way I talk, the things I love, the way I dance, the struggles I've had. Even in my craziest moments, I feel loved by you.

I love you. I am glad I know you. I am glad you are a part of my life today.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

In what world is this woman NOT thin? But other than that, this is great.

I just saw this on Upworthy.
I hesitate to share this, because if you've never heard of "thigh gap", I don't want you to even know what that is. (I learned of it while in eating disorder treatment in 1997. My fellow patients talked about it a lot.)

I really like what she says about loving our bodies, and I agree. Why is she a "plus size" model? Why are all the models 16? (I know the answers to this... it turns out clothing designers don't want WOMEN, they just want hangers to show off the clothing. If you saw the women instead of their clothes, they wouldn't sell nearly as much. But that's a different story.)

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I'm trying to start blogging again. In the meantime, a photodump

I haven't been blogging. Part of that is that I don't need the blog like I once did. I spend my time with a lot of people, and I talk and share myself more than I once did. I also don't have to deal with all of the crazy effects of abuse, PTSD, ED, or even leaving the church. Everything is pretty calm generally speaking. I also have been very busy with BJ's family, my family, work, with some horses and fishing thrown in.

At the same time, I miss writing. I miss blogging and having a record of who I was in that moment.

So... I'm just dropping in to say, I plan on writing more, and sharing more here.
I'm planning on writing some of the stories from my past in a more complete form. I have the journal/blog entries from when I was going through it all, but I'd like to write it all down differently.

A few days ago, I did an interview for a study about Eating Disorders and Spirituality/Religion. She asked me to share the story of my eating disorder and specifically how it related to religion and spirituality. As I shared with her, I made connections I haven't made before. It also felt good to just tell a story from beginning to end (so to speak... Actually, my story hasn't ended yet, but... whatever.)

That's my goal. I'm writing about it, so that I have a better chance of actually doing it.

In the meantime: Here is a bunch of pictures I've taken since the last time I posted.

BJ enjoying the semi-nice weather on our last ride. (There was snow on the ground in some places, but the sun was out.)

My family came over for my mom's birthday.

BJ and I went to Vegas for a tradeshow (for work), but while we were there, we stopped to visit Rick's Restoration.

We also went to Count's Kustoms

Sometimes we get bored at tradeshows.

My brother performed in a benefit concert. They gave away four scholarships that evening, and he got one of them!

Three of BJ's grandkids came over to ride the horses. J has been riding since he was a baby. He's pretty comfortable up there.

I love this smile.

My cat. She was hunting mice, and we were in the way.

She wasn't so sure at first, but by the end, "Look Grandpa! No hands!" and she wanted to go around several more times after the boys were all done.

I had an orchestra concert. BJ's daughter took this of us afterwards.

BJ's mom has been in a Rehab center. BJ's brother and his family started the deck, and BJ and I were there to help finish it up.

The little dogs were not enjoying the cold.

They asked me to take their family photos for them. I'm not a photographer, but I sure had fun.

E (my bro-in-law) and Olive (the dog)
Sadie, why are you being so naughty?

BJ helped Sadie get in the pictures.

Olive's "Batdog" ears make me happy.

I REALLY want a dog. For now, I have been playing with my sister's three. (Though, they found a home for Bandit! So, now she is back to just two dogs.)

We went fishing in the dark. Someone told me that was a euphemism for sex... but I didn't know that. We really just went fishing (for Trout) in the dark.

Sunset while I was at work. (This is the view out my office window.)

We went to the rodeo with all of BJ's kids and a few of the grandkids. These three loved the barrel races.

My sister had a birthday. They made her dance.

Happy Halloween!

This girl makes me smile. (BJ's granddaughter.) She told me to get the camera, because she was in the perfect spot for a photo.

Carving pumpkins together.

Making stuff with clay. (BJ's grandsons.)

We went to cowboy poetry.

This guy lives across the street.

We helped BJ's sister and her husband move from Montana back to Utah. (Anyone who is friends with BJ on Facebook saw this picture, cropped a little.)

BJ's granddaughter's drawing. Do you know who it is?

Last Christmas BJ bought me a camera. He said that made me the official expedition photographer. I took a photography class and learned how to use it. Now sometimes I can get cool action shots like this one.