The following was written by a friend of mine as a response to the church's new website.
From Esteban (a gay ex-Mormon)
"As a heterosexual, you've never
had to even think about it. Because heterosexuality has never been
deemed sinful in your life, you simply have always had the freedom to
express yourself through touch, feel, affection, and sexual expression
with anyone of the opposite sex. You've only had to stop yourself from
full sexual realization until you were married, assuming you were
actually able to do that. In other words, your sexual orientation was
never in play as a possible threat to God, only your possible breach of
sexual activity outside of marriage.
If your own desire
for women/men was deemed a sin, you might begin to empathize with what
it's like to be gay. Without telling yourself the story as to why gays
are wrong per God's command to multiply and replenish the earth, imagine
for just a moment if your desire right now inside you for women/men was
sinful. Not just sinful outside of marriage, but sinful all the time,
every minute of your life. Imagine that your deep core gender attraction
itself was deemed an abomination.
Let's take this
empathy exercise even further: Imagine for a moment that you were told
that God only saw homosexual relationships as righteous and worthy. I
know, it's hard, just try it for a moment. You wanted to please God,
your parents, everyone around you. And you were told you could change
your sexual orientation to be homosexual even though you're skeptical
and know somehow that it might be impossible. But you know to be saved
and to follow God's Plan, you must. And so you launch in to trying to
like women/men with a reverent, God-centered mission. You even marry a
person of the same sex and everything, but deep down you know you're
kidding yourself and you start to want a person of the opposite sex,
because let's face it, you're wired that way.
to your own life. That is never going to be your fight, but would you
compare that empathy exercise of being attracted to the wrong gender the
same as being addicted to drugs or alcohol? No, of course not, because
love isn't a substance like drugs or alcohol. Your sexual attractions
are hard-wired and you cannot change that.
Up until a
few days ago, the Mormon Church told you that you were NOT born that
way. That you were choosing somehow to be homosexual/heterosexual. But
look now! The church is saying that you ARE born that way! Woah! That
seems like a big change! That seems like it might be the answer to a lot
of frustration and angst! So if you are a gay Mormon and you're now
born that way, what changes for you?
Besides now being
on the side of Lady Gaga, nothing changes for you. But wait! Why not?
You were just told that you were born that way! That's freaking awesome,
isn't it??? Well, lets examine it a bit closer:
even IF you're born gay, the church still believes that ACTING on your
core, born-with sexual orientation is still sinful. That hasn't changed.
So if that hasn't changed, what has? Nothing has changed. You see,
telling gay people they're born that way and still maintaining that
homosexuality is sinful as an action hasn't changed at all.
Mormons weren't waiting to be told they were born that way, gay Mormons
were waiting to be told they're just as in un-sinful, valid, and
valuable in God's eyes as heterosexuals are, even if they can't multiply
and replenish the earth. You see, your sexual attraction to women/men
was never about having babies in the first place, it was about being
able to freely touch, feel, express, and fully sexualize your domestic
relationship with your chosen partner. That whole "having babies" thing
is superfluous to love, to loving the way you need it.
so sadly, the new website, the new big change really isn't any change
at all. When Lady Gaga sings about being born that way, she then goes on
to sing about loving that way, too.
And so gay Mormons
are just as stuck as they were before. The new big change is just a
tragic sadness. It's a façade. It's a new smile on the same old doctrine
of pain and suffering. Can gay Mormons now go to church and hold hands
with their domestic partners, their husbands, wives, and loving spouses?
Can they hold them, kiss them, express to them how much they love them
like all the other heterosexual couples God loves unconditionally? No.
a matter of fact, IF a gay Mormon, whom are all now born that way
according to Mormon leadership, actually try to love their partners,
dates, spouses like those same Mormon leaders do, they'll be sinning.
And not just sin because they're doing it outside of marriage, but
because they can NEVER touch, feel, show affection, or have any sexual
contact with them ever. Ever as in forever.
only that, but the Mormon Church believes that homosexuals will be
corrected as part of the resurrection process to become a perfect
heterosexual person. So what they're really telling you is to never have
a relationship at all because you cannot ever love them eternally, even
if you feel like you love someone that strongly. Even if you feel in
love, a love as strongly as those Mormon leaders love their spouses.
IF you remain a celibate gay Mormon in love in this life with the
person you wish to eternally love, your core being will be changed to
heterosexual and you will not be able to love them anyway because they
still believe homosexuality is a sinful abomination that must be
You are born doomed. Forever doomed now that
you're born that way. You see? Nothing has changed at all. Gay Mormons
are just as doomed now as they were before this latest big change that
hasn't changed a thing."