I am tired. I feel nauseous. My head aches. I feel dizzy. I am not sure how much longer I can keep going. My body hurts. I can't shake the memories of what my abusers did. I feel desperate for something else, but I don't even know what.
But I don't want to make you worry. I want you to think I am strong. I don't want to hurt you. I am trying to be positive. I am trying to stop being a burden.
So, I say, "I am ok."
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I hope you know you don't have to pretend for me. Robyn sometimes says she's okay when she's really not. At first it really bothered me because I want to help. Then she started saying, "There's something bothering me but I want to work on it on my own for a while." I liked that better, because she was being honest and she wasn't shutting me out but she let me know that she didn't need me and I could trust that she would come to me when she did.
ReplyDeleteI hope you know that sharing your pain does not make you a burden. If you choose to work on things on your own that is your choice, but I hope it's never because you think you'll be a burden on others.