Friday, June 5, 2009

"From the outside looking in you can never understand it. From the inside looking out you can never explain it."

When I first heard this quote - I thought of abuse and recovery from the abuse. I thought about how much I want people to understand, and how much they want to understand... But I can't explain it, and they can't understand it.

Then I thought of the eating disorder. It is completely illogical, nonsensical, and crazy. I can't explain it, because it doesn't make any sense at all. Even to me, it seems like it should be so simple to just eat... but it wasn't. Sometimes, it still isn't. So, if it doesn't make sense to me, how can I explain it to anyone else?

Finally, I thought of the amazing miracles that have happened in my life. I have been so blessed! Most people will never know and can never understand how the Lord has lead my life. It isn't something I can explain. I am trying - with this blog - I want people to understand if I have had these miracles, they can too. They ARE too. And once they start seeing them, they will have more.

This journey has been so hard. It has had so many ups and downs and crazy spins. I can try to explain it. I can try to tell you why every piece of the puzzle was so important, and why each moment was perfect for that moment, but it would take a lifetime.

The answer for each of you trying to go through your own journey is to seek to understand yourself, and maybe you'll be able to explain it to a select few. And for those of you who are standing on the sidelines, seek to understand yourself, and only then will you be able to begin to understand someone else.

I will continue to try to explain it. I hope you will continue to try to understand. And in the end, it will be our spirits that will connect and we will understand each other.

1 comment:

  1. We all have our own filters that we put on everything that we see and hear. We try to relate to others by relating their experiences to something that we know. Sometimes there are things that just can't be related to anything else.

    It's like trying to explain what salt tastes like to someone who has never tasted it. To someone who shares the experience it's so easy to relate. To everyone else it's a pure mystery.

    I am doing my best to understand. With the eating disorder in particular, I have no frame of reference to remotely understand. In my world, eating is one of the most important things. I can't understand why anyone would ever not eat(unless they just didn't have food, but that's a different issue). But I do my best to understand. And the things that I still can't understand, I just accept. For me that's the best I can do.