Saturday, January 8, 2011

Let it go

One of the things that people say about anger is to "Let it go."
You have to let the anger go and forgive. Its good advice, but most people don't actually MEAN "let it go". Most people mean, "Repress it, shove it away and don't talk about it."

"Let it go" means I won't be able to control it. "Let it go" means that I let whatever is going to happen, happen. "Let it go" means I stop hanging on to it and actually "let it go".

If I am holding on to a wild tiger. I don't want to let go, because it might hurt me. I'm scared to death. However, once I let it go, it leaves. The tiger doesn't want to hang around - it wants to go home. I could put it in a cage, but then I have to take care that it stays in its cage... If I let it go, I take the chance that it might hurt me...

That's what anger is like. I could put it in a cage, but then I have to work hard to keep it in its cage. It doesn't like its cage. It wants to be free. It doesn't even want to hang around me... So, I let it go.

It lashes out for a moment, until it realizes its free, and it goes away.

So, don't tell me to let it go, unless you actually mean let it go.
And, don't tell me to repress it, because I won't listen anyway...


  1. I often get annoyed with people that say things like "let it go". I know that most of them have not walked in my shoes. They do not understand the complexity of "letting it go".

    I do find that once I can let go of something I am often better off.

  2. I agree that most people don't mean "let it go."

    I think what they mean is "stop talking about it, don't bother me anymore, aren't you over this already?"

    It takes a while to heal. It's hard to take that time - and it's hard for others to let you take that time.

  3. Until you walk in someone else shoes you should just keep that "let it go" too yourself.

  4. I like the analogy of the tiger. Letting it go is ultimately what needs to happen, but it will involve pain in the process.

  5. That's a perfect analogy Jen. I really like this and think it's very therapeutic to "release the tiger" within, or you'll build up so much resentment that it's not healthy.

    Most people are afraid of the pain in letting it go, so they hang onto their beliefs because they're caged, and in control. They're afraid of what will happen once they let go.

    I've found out that the tiger just needed to find out what it's like outside the cage, and it's surprisingly GOOD. I'm free. I'm happy. And I'm still making good, positive, life building choices. I didn't need to be afraid, even though I was taught that to look outside of my faith was wrong, was sinful, would lead to eternal damnation... the mind control was what controlled me, and I've learned (very painfully) that it's wrong.

  6. Nice! Really well put, Sugar! Nice analogy and I appreciate the appropriateness of this post. Thanks for sharing.

    (And LMAO!!! My little captcha word today was DORKER!!!)