I moved to a teeny-tiny town. I did it!
Today, as I finished cleaning my apartment, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. When I moved in, I didn't like the place. It was where I went "until I could change enough to go back". I felt like I was a kid being sent to my room. I was lonely. I was hurting.
At the same time, the way I found the place was perfect.
Desperate. Dying. Felt like the world was collapsing. I'd looked and looked for a place, but there was nothing that felt safe enough for me to even imagine trying to go to.
Sleeping under a trailer seemed better than most options.
And then Bishop Campbell met my landlord, and they told him about the little basement apartment that they only rent to single women. They didn't need a deposit, and they would work with me on paying the rent, and they were just kind people. So, that night, I stayed there.
So much happened there at that little place. Before I left, I sat down and said a prayer. Thanking God for the amazing progress I have made. For leading me on this journey. For everything that has happened to get me to this place.
The thought came to call Bishop Campbell. For the next two minutes, I argued with myself. And then I called him. He answered and said, "Wow. The spirit just works in amazing ways!"
It turns out an hour before I called, he'd been asking current bishop how I was doing. Current dude wouldn't tell him, because bishop confidentiality or something... Really... he has no clue how I'm doing... But that's beside the point. Bishop Campbell was at meetings, and they had just broken two minutes earlier. If I had called five minutes later, I would have missed him.
I told him about the divorce. I told him I was moving. I told him about many of my questions. I told him that I was making choices that many people are questioning, and I told him I didn't really care what people thought, because I just had to live my life.
He told me how amazingly strong with the spirit I am. He told me that he trusted me, because I wouldn't do anything that I didn't need to do to progress. He's seen it over and over. And then he told me that in all the times he'd talked to me, he'd never heard me sound so good.
I feel good. I feel excited. I feel light.
And my life is still miraculous in ways I will never be able to explain.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
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I'm glad you like your new place. I'm glad you're making really good progress.ReplyDelete