Saturday, December 5, 2015

It wasn't all in my head! #endometriosis #adenomyosis

It's done. Yesterday I had my uterus, cervix, Fallopian tubes, and left ovary removed. This morning I am laying in a hospital bed waiting for the nurse to let me get up and move around. Then I will be waiting for the doctor to give me the okay to go home.

I haven't talked to the doctor yet - my surgery was schedule to be an hour and a half. It took him three hours. I had endometriosis.

My uterus, colon, left Fallopian tube, and left ovary were all covered in endometriosis adhesions and twisted and fused together. As the doctor was telling Todd all that I had cut out, Todd's main thought was, "No wonder she was in so much pain."

I went to several doctors who all told me my pain was psychosomatic. I really thought it was in my head, and I was worried I'd get into surgery and the doctor would find nothing wrong with me.

What a relief to know there was disease, and the surgeon cut it out, so hopefully once I recover from the pain of surgery, there will be no more pain.

The pain has changed a little with surgery, but it's no worse than what I was living with almost everyday. (There's an incision in my belly button, and that hurts. The other three incisions don't hurt at all.)

The other cool thing about this experience: I was able to talk about PTSD and anxiety, AND I was able to ask for help. As I was coming out of anesthesia, I was in pain and felt panicked. I was able to tell the nurse, "I have PTSD from being raped, and I'm having a hard time right now. Can you talk to me to help me stay here in the present. My brain thinks I'm being raped again."

She brought me a pillow to hug and then talked to me. She asked me about where I live and what I do for a living and told me stories about herself. It didn't take too long for me to get grounded and be okay enough.

I'm really excited to see evidence of how much better I am than I was just a year ago.


  1. Wishing you a speedy and smooth recovery. I'm annoyed that so many doctors were convinced that the pain was in your head -- if they'd dug deeper, they would have discovered your medical problems sooner.

  2. I'm annoyed too. They weren't specialists, and my experience is not uncommon. They say it takes the average woman ten years and four doctors before they finally get a diagnosis. Then, even with a diagnosis, there is very little information about treatment and cure. People try hormone treatment, hormone blockers, and hysterectomies (or pregnancies). I could have done those things, but it wouldn't have fixed the big problems of my organs being fused together and twisted.

    I've drafted several letters in my head to the doctors that dismissed my pain. I don't know if I will ever write one of the letters, but I think if I were a doctor, I'd like to know if I was hurting people instead of helping them.

  3. Unless something has gone rEALLY wrong, you should by now be home. i hope that you're feeling much better and that the post-surgical pain that replaced the pain of a really nasty case of endometriosis has finally gone away for you. I wish you well what I would hope is almost like a new life for you.

    I deal with some lingering PTSD as well. Mine is primarily from an attempted rape though another situation figures into it as well. I received inpatient treatment for the PTSD and often keep it under control but occasionally it wins the battle for control of my rational self. It sucks, but all any of us can do is our best whether in regard to that or anything else.

    Best wishes on your journey for wellness.