Thursday, November 8, 2012

Moving forward

Most of my current friends are from "support groups".
Some people I met while I was in treatment for an eating disorder.
Some I met at a CALM (Community After Leaving Mormonism) support group.

The nice thing about meeting friends there, is that you can get right down to talking about the stuff that is bothering you. No one balks if you talk about trauma or abuse in an eating disorder support group. Pretty much everyone there has their own intense story, and they are trying to figure out how to survive hell just like I was. It was very helpful to have people who understood and who I could talk to.

Leaving the church was incredibly painful, difficult, crazy, and very lonely. I am so glad I found the support group. Again - no one balked when I expressed anger, sadness, and frustration at the things I learned in church (or that I learned about the church). Nobody tried to persuade me to feel differently - because we were all going through pretty much the same thing.

The thing I have started to realize recently is that I don't NEED either of these support groups anymore. (Which is AWESOME!) But now I want to find friends that share more common interests, instead of common pains. (Just to clarify - the friends I've made in those places are still very important to me... It's just that I want to expand my life to include new people.)

This summer, I joined an organization that helps train Mustangs.
Last month, I joined a club called Trout Unlimited. They get together once a month and talk about fishing. Then they go out fishing and camping together. Freaking awesome!
Tonight, I start a scuba diving class.

I will still be very involved in educating others about abuse vs. healthy relationships. (It is very important to me to be here in case there is anyone else who needs support.)
I will never be able to completely get away from the church, because everyone in my family is still a part. So, I will probably always write about and be involved with issues. (I also still have a desire to be there for anyone who was like me. I want them to know there are more options than what the church teaches.)

I'm also ready to move forward into LIFE. I don't know how that will go as far as blogging... There's not much to say after a great ride, or a good fishing trip, or even a scuba diving class. How many times do I say, "Today's ride was AWESOME!" before everyone gets tired of reading??


  1. Can you tell me more about CALM? I am interested in what it's about. I've never heard of it.

    1. Sure! They meet once a month at someone's house. There are groups in Utah County, Salt Lake County, and Davis/Weber. I don't know how the other groups work, but Utah County also has a Facebook group and they do social things every so often too.
      I'll send you a PM on Facebook with more info... if you want.

  2. I'm excited that you're taking a scuba diving class. I need to take one too. Then we need to go somewhere cool to go diving.

    But for now, I start my falconry class on Tuesday. I'm excited to be a falconer.

    1. I'm SO excited for your falconry class. That is awesome!
      And yes, you need to get certified too, because I think there are going to be many awesome adventures underwater. (Even though, I am a bit aquatically challenged, I hope to overcome that.)

  3. Scuba Diving! How awesome is that?! I'm so excited for you. And training Mustangs --- Wow. And fishing, again, Wow! I'm so happy for you.

    So my son has been telling me he needs to get scuba certified (for two years now).... I just thought he needed to be older (10 seemed a little young at the time)...guess I should look into it.
    I'm taking a clogging class. It makes me feel old and young at the same time. Old because I used to be able to move a lot faster than I do now and my recovery is so much worse now. Young because it's fun and exhilarating when I can learn a new step and do it right.

    So proud of you!

    1. :) You make me smile.
      Kids can get Jr. certified at age 10. (Which means they need a certified adult with them.) At 15, they can get certified on their own... although I imagine it would be tough for him to go without an adult anyway.

      I remember watching you clog. That makes me happy that you are doing it again.
      Love you!

  4. Jen,

    I feel honored to call you friend. I feel grateful that you've reached that place in your journey where you can viscerally feel the pull to expand. And I love that every one of the new adventures you are embarking upon sound like an exact fit for the vibrant YOU that you have become.

    Sending you love, dear girl! Thank you for crossing paths with me.

    1. Awe... Angie, I think you are awesome. I feel SO grateful that I found you.
      Sending love right back.

  5. SO I THOUGHT i commented a few days ago, guess something broke. It was clever and funny and something about Aqua Jen being cool and a mental note about not blind folding you if I ever go, to help you not freak out on try to drown me on accident or anything.

    1. You did comment - on the other entry about scuba diving. It's still there, but I have to say THIS comment is even better. I promise not to try to drown you on accident or anything...

  6. Coping with eating disorders such as bulimia will be more effective if back up with strong support system and of course bulimia treatment center. Those two are dynamic duo.