Friday, April 19, 2013

So we went riding.

I am in a relationship with someone who is a lot like me. We both love horses and fishing and the outdoors. We enjoy reading and talking about things. We like a lot of the same TV shows and movies. We both love Mexican food. And Rubio's tacos.

Our similarities make it really nice. I barely ever have to ask for what I want, because he just does what he wants and most of the time it's what I want too.

Our similarities also make it so I get out of practice. Or I don't think about what I want and just go with the flow. Until suddenly I'm feeling all out of whack and I can't figure out why.

I love fishing. Fishing is fun.
I LOVE horseback riding. It feels like it is a key part of ME. I am home on the back of a horse.
We haven't been riding for almost six weeks, because it's been muddy and the fishing has been good. Six weeks without getting out with the horses in the mountains is like an eternity. (I've been in the pasture with Sunny, and I take him out in the foothills by my house, but we haven't GONE anywhere.)

This morning as I was leaving for work, I looked out at the horses, and I wanted to cry. At first I thought it was because up until last week, I worked from home. All day long, I'd work and watch the horses grazing. My new view isn't bad - a field and mountains, but Sunny isn't in the field.

BJ asked me if I was okay. I said yes. No. I don't know.

I want to go riding. I want you to go, not because you want to go, but just because I want to go. I want to go in the mountains - even if it's cold or muddy or not ideal conditions. I just want to go riding!

So we went riding.

It seemed so much scarier... and more complicated... in my head.

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