I haven't found another label that fits better than asexual as a sexual orientation.
Sexual Orientation isn't about what you do, it's about what you want. Gay men get married to women and have sex, but that doesn't change their orientation... ummm... unless it does... unless they start WANTING to have sex with women. I don't know if that ever happens. It probably does... to some... whatever.
Last week was Asexual Awareness Week. I didn't know. If I had, I would have written about it last week. I just read this blog post today, and it made me cry. It felt so validating. I felt understood. Not alone.
Asexual does NOT equal broken. It doesn't mean I'm disordered, crazy, or that I need to "fix" anything about myself. It means I don't want to have sex. And the only reason me not wanting to have sex is a problem is if someone else wants me to have sex with them... and if someone else wants me to have sex EVEN WHEN I DON'T, that's a problem. (ok... they can want it all day long... it's when they expect me to do something about their wanting it that would be a problem.)
I really appreciated this quote:
“It’s long past time to redefine intimacy,” Brooks argues. “The word ‘intimacy’ conjures up a candle-lit room and a steamy sex scene, but I believe this definition limits greatly our intimate capacity as humans. In fact, I reject entirely the idea that intimacy should be synonymous with sex. Intimacy is tied to a much deeper set of emotions that guide every part of our lives. Intimacy feeds our humanity by connecting us with the people around us. It is the foundation for empathy, compassion, and love. Sex is one way of expressing intimacy — but intimacy should not be summed up as sex and sexual acts.”Anyway, just check it out?? You might learn something you never knew you wanted to know.