Thursday, April 16, 2009

I can trust me... I can protect myself

I am currently struggling with the idea that I can't take care of myself. I can't trust me to keep me safe. I know I can... I have done it many times:
  • I asked to come to BJ's home, because it made me feel safe.
  • I eat meals and snacks without the prompting of others most of the time.
  • I call and ask for help when I am really struggling.
  • I let myself cry when I need to.
  • When I was feeling suicidal, I put myself in safer situations. (I surrounded myself with people, I didn't go to the office, I went home to Dann, I asked BJ to hold my pills for me, etc.)
This is not working quite the way I wanted. I currently feel so guilty and ashamed that I have done any of these things... I am supposed to feel better, because I can trust me. I don't!!

Argh! I just feel yucky...


  1. You relationship with yourself is the same as relationships with others. As you continue to prove to yourself that you can handle it, you will trust yourself. Just as you would trust a friend after they have continued to prove themselves.

  2. I have the same worries about myself. Though, I'll soon learn if I can take care of myself. If I think I'm worth it.