I went out to dinner with my husband tonight. At first, I wasn't sure I was up to it. There was so much going through my mind and my body. My body hurts most of the time. I know its a flashback sort of thing... my body thinks its being raped even when I am just sitting there. That makes it so hard to WANT to do anything. I am so glad I went.
It went great. We had a good time - just talked, laughed, ate. The best part:
Before dinner, I remember asking my sweetheart - will there ever be a time it doesn't hurt? His reply, you know there will be. Then, I don't know when it happened... but I do know when it started to hurt again. It just didn't hurt. I was laughing, enjoying my dinner, enjoying being with him, and it didn't hurt! It went like 20 minutes... maybe more... which means it will be longer next time.
It gave me so much hope! I am so grateful!
Thank you dear Father, for showing me what it can feel like. Thank you for giving me that glimpse at a moment when I wasn't sure it was worth it to keep trying. Thank you for showing me my progress. Thank you!