- "No, I don't have a car. I plan on walking home. This may be a dumb idea, because I have been very dizzy and shaky all day."
- "I am currently on medication that makes it so I feel almost nothing. I would like to continue feeling nothing, but I also want you to push me to feel something."
- "It hurts when I pray. I wish I could make you understand, but I don't know how. All I know, is that it hurts. A lot."
- "I am angry at some of the things you said in church today. I want to talk to you about it, and I want to understand what you really meant."
- "Don't talk to me about feeling the spirit when I read scriptures... I don't feel it when I read, and I feel a little angry about that."
- "Please, please, please text me, call me, let me know I am not alone. I desperately need your help. I am not as strong as I want you to think I am."
- "If you get to know ME, I have a lot I can teach you."
- "I am so afraid of letting you in. I am afraid you will judge me. I am afraid you won't understand. I am afraid of the work it will take to help you know how to help me. I am afraid of feeling the loss I felt when Bishop Johnson was released."
- "I am going to go sit in the bathroom and cry. I am not sure why I am crying. This frustrates me a lot. I am embarrassed at how sad and emotional I feel. I'm scared you'll want to comfort me, and I can't handle that."
Monday, January 26, 2009
Things I should have said but didn't
There are so many times that I know what I need to say to take care of me, but I stop myself. Today I stopped myself because I didn't completely trust Bishop Campbell. Other times, I find other reasons. It doesn't matter WHY, I should have said these things while I was meeting with him.