I'm feeling a little bit stuck. I have about ten entries started and saved in Drafts. None of them feel complete enough to post yet.
So, I'll just write about music.
This morning my friend, Kate was listening to James Blunt. I clicked on the song. Suddenly I was crying. Big cries.
Then I switched and was listening to Coldplay. I felt like dancing.
Music has such an incredible power. Both of those feelings (emotions?) were there in me. Right now - without the music I feel like crying and dancing. Crying for the past I left behind. Crying because it didn't go quite the way I planned. Dancing because it is much better than I ever planned. Dancing because I'm alive, and I CAN! Crying because I'm afraid. Afraid of the unknown. There is a lot that I don't know that I used to think I knew. Dancing because there is SO MUCH I don't know. The world offers so many amazing things to question, explore and learn about.
I feel like I'm on the precipice. It's both scary and amazing.
The music doesn't create what I feel - it just resonates with what is there and helps me release it.
(I'm also remembering a post I wrote a while ago. I dance now. All by myself. Usually in the kitchen, but sometimes while I'm working. I don't belong to anyone, and no one else chooses when I dance, or laugh, or live. I'M ALIVE!)