(I'm writing this December 22, but I won't be able to post it until after Christmas... That way my mom will be surprised by her present, and I get to write what I'm thinking today.)
A few days ago, my sister was looking through pictures of when we were kids. She came across a picture of us building sandcastles. I was about 14. My sister 6, and my brother 3. She looked at it, and asked, "Did you like being a big sister?"
Of course I did. I still do. Why?
She pointed out that a fourteen year old building sandcastles with little kids... some people wouldn't like that so much. I never was normal.
I loved being a big sister. I think I took pride in them (especially the two youngest) like a parent would. I felt the most comfortable spending time with them. I preferred their company to friends my own age almost any time.
My little brothers and sister were my whole life.
That night, I went to watch Justin perform in the Christmas Carol. I'm not a huge fan of that play, but I LOVE watching Justin perform. It makes me happy to see him do things he loves. It makes me happy to see how good he is. It REALLY makes me happy to hear his buddy's do "the Justin laugh" and watch Justin try to stay in character. It just makes me happy.
I love watching Mellen play soccer. I get anxious for her whenever she is goalie. I want to jump for joy and cheer whenever she plays forward. Even now. It makes me happy.
After the family Christmas party (which was really hard for me), I loved that Mellen and I could drive home and talk. About everything on her mind and on my mind, and it was just awesome.
For Christmas, Justin recorded a CD of himself singing to give to my mom. He asked me to accompany him. (Also one of my very favorite things in the whole world!) They recorded me first, and I could have left, but I SO enjoy watching Justin sing. Besides the fact that he is really good - I just feel so proud of him and so touched watching him.
I really love being a big sister. I got to see all of my siblings grow up, change, become who they are. I've gotten to love them and know them from day one. I got to help raise them, and now I love watching them be adults.
Being their sister is a big part of who I am and who I want to be.