Saturday, July 25, 2009

I'm a hypocrite

I started reading Stephanie's blog tonight... I had so many feelings and thoughts coursing through me. She amazes me!!! I love her so much, and I am so grateful she offered to let me read her blog, and asked to read mine...

Then I came here... The last entry here was about hiding.

I feel like such a hypocrite. I talked about refusing to hide, but that is exactly what I am doing. I have a blog that serves as my journal, and I don't share it with anyone (well, except occasionally reading it to BJ or Paul). I think that is okay - I am allowed some privacy... However, even this blog, the "sugar-coated" one... I only allow four people to read. I am still in hiding - after all this time, after all this work, and I am still several different people depending on who I am with at the moment.

I suppose that is okay, for now... however, I hate it! I don't want to be a hypocrite. I want to be real and genuine and ME all the time... how does one do that? How do I do that??

My start, I let Stephanie in to read this. I know I chose these entries, because I thought they could help someone else. I will trust that feeling. AND following Stephanie's amazing example, I will invite others to read here as well. Thank you, Stephanie, for helping me see what I can do differently.


  1. No name calling... especially to yourself. Even though we can't hear each others voices through blogs, just knowing I can come read yours makes me feel better....

  2. The fact that I am reading this means you have progressed beyond that desire to hide. That's a good thing. You're not a hypocrite. It takes a lot of courage to share yourself with the world. You are entitled to your privacy, and you're entitled to share what you feel should be shared. As long as you feel good about yourself, and you feel that the you that you are portraying to the world is real, that's all that matters.