I am freaking out. So panicked about the night time...
One thing I can do to help myself at this moment is to come up with a plan of action... Having the Johnson's home has made it so I can function through out the day. Not having it has caused me to lose my mind! But, that is not the only option.
So, tonight if I don't want to stay in my house, I don't have to:
I can go for a walk.
I can go to the office.
I can get a hotel.
I can stay in the church.
I can sleep in my car. Or Dann's car. Or the Kia.
I can go to the hospital and tell them I am suicidal.
I can go to a 24 hour gym.
I can sneak into the Johnson's home and sneak out early in the morning.
I can sneak into anyone's home.
I can go to BYU and sleep in the bathroom on a couch.
I can sleep in a park.
I can go to Denny's and sit there all night long.
I can call Bishop Campbell and see what he suggests.
I can go to Grandma's house.
I can call Mellen and crash at her house.
I can crash at the parent's house.
I can call President Davis and see what he suggests.
I can go to Dann's parents.
I can break into Grandma Connie's house.
I can go to the First Ward building.
I can go sleep in our basement.
I can sleep on someone else's lawn.
I can sleep at a seminary building.
I can go to Dann's office.
I can go to Dann's gym.
I can send Dann away.
I can go to Jeff and Robyn's house.
I can sleep on the D'Angelo's couch.
I can sleep at the neighbor's house.
I can go knocking on door's until someone lets me stay.
I can get arrested and stay in the jail.
I can go to a 24 hour grocery store and wander the aisles all night - or even sleep in the produce section.
I can run away to the mountains. I can take a tent. Or sleep under the stars.
I can go to St. George.
I can go to a bar.
Obviously some of these are better than others... But look at all of the options I have!