I've been thinking more about what recovery means to me. I used to think it was finally feeling like I was good enough. Its so much more than that.
I am just me. I am not good enough, because I don't have to be good enough. I am Jen. I am beautiful. I am strong. I work hard. I play hard. I love people. I laugh easily. I like to smile. I get angry. I cry. I want to be loved. I like my clothes to match. I love my Heavenly Father. I hate church. I love music. I love my husband. I care deeply for people and notice things other people don't always see. I am late a lot. I love to be outside. I like to dance. I enjoy learning new things. I like fish tacos. I have a lot of questions. I hate secrets and I don't really like surprises. I love fireworks. I care deeply for my friends. I am passionate. I am rebellious. I want to be heard. I want to help other people. I am impatient.
I don't HAVE to be any of these things. If tomorrow, I change - I'm still Jen.
I wish I had words to describe what I am beginning to feel. Its not that Jen is good enough... its that it just doesn't matter whether Jen is good enough or not. Jen is Jen... and that is so much more than good enough!