Yesterday, Dr West (of Zero Disease) talked about the dangers of using the healing knowledge he was teaching us. He used the example of a weightlifter. They have worked on weightlifters who had fatigued their muscles to the point, that they COULDN'T lift another ounce. After they worked on them, they could go back and lift just as much as they had at the beginning.
His question, just because they COULD lift that much again, SHOULD they?
Then he went on and talked about the wise person will not wait for the pain to return to take care of themselves. They will do the healing work he was teaching regularly enough that the pain won't return. They will let their body and muscles rest even if they seem healthy enough to go on.
This morning, it hit me, that I will continue to have pain until I learn how to take care of myself. As long as I continue to try to take care of everyone else first, as long as I push myself way past what I know is right for me and my body, as long as I keep ignoring all of the subtle signals that something is wrong - I will continue to feel this pain. No matter how much healing work I do. No matter how hard I try, if I don't learn to take care of myself, it will continue to hurt.
I have learned this lesson before. It came from a wheelchair at CFC. I kept passing out, because I was waiting for someone else to tell me I should be in the chair, or I didn't deserve to sit down, or I had to do what everyone else expected of me, or... Finally, one day, I just accepted the dang thing, and then learned how to sit down when I was feeling dizzy, and now I do pretty good taking care of me that way.