Sunday, May 10, 2009

Tao of Equus - the story of Joy

Joy had been sexually molested by a groom in the horse stables, physically abused by her grandmother, mother and father, and had been in many very destructive relationships.
"In Joy's estimation, the ex-boyfriends and husbands who proceeded to abuse her were basically good men who crave the right kind of nurturing and understanding. She hadn't been able to figure out exactly what they needed, but she was working on it."
Her first day at the stables, Joy picked a horse that was stubborn and aggressive. She felt she had an instant connection with him, and she felt safest with him. After watching him bite, kick and chase off the other horses from the food, she decided she did in fact know him. He was just like all of the abusive men she had ever known.
"Joy had mistakenly associated the feeling of familiarity with safety. She had misread Hawk's disrespect of boundaries as affection. "
For the last ten years of my life, I have been the opposite. If it felt familiar, it was dangerous. New was safe. New people didn't hurt you like family did. New was good. As soon as something even the slightest bit negative happened I ran... because of the relationship with Larry. I stayed with him long after I should have. I wanted to save him.

I would have picked Hawk, but only because I heard he was abused. I would want to save him, love him, show him that not all people are like that. I would let him hurt me in the name of saving him.

1 comment:

  1. It's good to run away from abusive and negative relationships. I hope you've also found that familiarity doesn't have to always equate to those negative things.